The universe appears to be relentlessly teaching me that what you may hope for may not be what you get. I no longer really feel much disappointment. I don’t know if that’s trauma, because after awhile I know that with enough let downs, desertions, and “not workings out”, you just stop feeling. Is that the first step to acceptance or hopelessness?
My brother and his family, expected to meet us here in Santa Fe, were thwarted by United Airlines (they deserve no anonymity). Sent to Washington from New York to make a connecting flight, they were deserted by minutes by the flight out of Washington, watched the plane taxi away, along with ten other people. Yesterday, my sister in law texted my daughter and told her my ten year old nephew just couldn’t take flying back to New York, getting up in the middle of the night, and trying again, especially when United had lost their next reservations and their luggage.
I honestly don’t feel much of anything. This visit was planned to be a special introduction to my long lost sister, something my brother had set up. Apparently he is devastated and won’t talk to either my sister or me. My youngest daughter cried and swore revenge on the airlines. My oldest is philosophical, she will see them in a few weeks on her way to Africa.
My new sister is concerned about our brother, and now has to cope with me and my daughters, who are really strangers. Yesterday we got on very well, touring through some scenic parts of Santa Fe, visiting a favorite photo gallery, but by evening I could see the socializing was wearing on her and her husband. They are not used to feeding five people. We watched a movie together, a light movie, a good choice with little controversy. We will now stay away til early afternoon and join them for pie making and the famous Christmas eve walk through the streets of Santa Fe.
It’s not bad. We can cope. It’s beautiful here, I very much enjoyed Santa Fe the last time I was here. I’m a bit tired of coping though. One day at a time.